How to Take Control of Your Self Confidence
If you think success, happiness and love are going to happen
without learning through mistakes along the way you are mistaken. Our brains are wired to learn from our own experiences as well as
those of others. Without experience how are you going to learn
anything? Let me give you an example. At my local bank a number of weeks
ago I attempted to make small talk with the cashier and she
completely ignored me. Last week I was in the bank and tried my small talk routine again,
and again I failed. She ignored me again! There are a number of ways to view this situation: 1 My communication strategy is not working
2 I need to change my approach
3 I will learn from this experience and become better A number of years ago I would have given this situation a
different analysis: 1 She is rude and ignorant. She thinks I am a moron
2 I feel crushed by this blatant rejection
3 My confidence depends on this person liking me Notice the difference. My old outlook sets me up for pain and
frustration and puts the ball in the court of the other person.
My confidence depends on how the other person responds. My new outlook puts me in control. I created the results I am
getting, I can choose to change my approach and I can decide to
learn and grow from every experience. A second point worth mentioning is that of wanting something
from someone versus giving. When you approach dealing with other people as getting something
from them you will always have confidence issues instead view
conversations as giving and you are back in control. With the bank cashier if I want to get something from her I focus
on wanting her to accept me and this neediness will be picked up
by her. She is unlikely to respond positively to this. If instead I give what I want then I will decide to accept her.
And she will receive my acceptance and likely reflect it back to
me. My confidence then is based on giving - something I am in charge
of not someone else. Now it is time for you to take this information and put it into
action. Think of a situation where you are typically not as confident as
you would like to be. If the reason is due to a lack of knowledge or ability then work
on that first. If you do have the necessary skills then decide to
take action and learn step by step from every experience. Start with a small challenge and gradually step up to bigger ones. Remember to use this outlook: 1 What is working and what is not working?
2 Change your approach until you get the results you want
3 Decide to learn from every experience Your confidence is under your control and is not controlled by
someone else! Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Related News
England set out on road to becoming an irresistible attraction - guardian.co.uk
Saltaire is top unique attraction - Bradford Telegraph Argus
Saltaire is top unique attractionBradford Telegraph Argus, UK -17 hours agoIt is certainly a unique tourist attraction, both the village itself and the immediate area with the Shipley Glen Tramway and Baildon Moor, which are all ... |
Special Section: Small-Track Magic Drives Bristol - TriCities.com
Men's volleyball medal hopes fading? - Los Angeles Times
New Zealand Dollar May Advance on Attraction of Higher Yields - Bloomberg
US volleyball coach is THE big attraction in return to China - Seattle Post Intelligencer
EU's added attraction in prime cattle market - Stock and Land
EU's added attraction in prime cattle marketStock and Land, Australia -2 hours agoSouthern Qld works are now quoting up to 400c/kg dressed over-the-hook for suitable EU two and four-tooth steers. While the best grassfed steers are 335c, ... |
Dismantled Beatty Mills Bridge to get new life as historic attraction - Leader Times
Death Show is a fatal attraction - Winnipeg Sun
Death Show is a fatal attractionWinnipeg Sun, Canada -11 hours agoBy BROOSE TULLOCH Death is always a good career move. Just look at Elvis, Jimi, Tupac ... and Estudio Luna Galleria owner Wanda Luna. If you know Luna, ... |
Giuliani keynote speaker, Lieberman star attraction at Republican ... - The Canadian Press
|
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Its All About the R Word
What matters most in life to you? Money, Time, Friends, Family?
All of those topics have 1 common denominator, Relationships!
Relationships are the key to being successful and living life to the fullest.
When you work on Realtionships, the rest will follow.
Perception Is Reality
"We think, therefore we are."
Aspire to Be
Many individuals believe that they have to "live up" to another family member or idol. Some are even envious of famous icons and want to look, act, think and be like the stars of the big screen. People become so obcessed that, in their quest of "perfection," they lose sight of who they are themselves. One of the most peculiar idiologies of people is that they honestly believe that they can literally "transform" themselves into other persons.
Your Default Settings
Buy a computer--any computer--and it comes loaded with software automatically set to certain default settings. For example, the default setting for Word is Times New Roman 12-point. Last week, as I presented one of my periodic Best Year Yet(R) programs, I found myself referring to default settings of the human variety. Human default settings are those areas of life where we unconsciously cooperate with limiting thoughts and behaviors that keep us from living our best lives.
Success Through Authenticity: Harness Your ?Innie? Natural Edge
For any inner-directed individual, much of life feels like you are a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. By forcing them to fit together, the natural edge of the square-peg is shaved off. That natural edge includes all your best traits, such as your intuition, creativity and superb listening skills as well as many other characteristics that make you a joy to be with and know.
Electrical Deficiencies
Our feelings are perceived by means of our sensors, our sensors are designed to detect conductors of energy that have the power to stir our feelings.
The Art of Loving & Living
The joy of living is in loving. No doubt, only lovers enjoy life!
Dont Seek Success; Seek Self-Actualization
"You make a living by what you get.
You make a life by what you give."
The Three Pillars of Life
We all have the power to change our lives. What differentiates between those who take the action to change and those who just sit on the sidelines are three basic human endowments. These three if understood and practiced have the power to initiate change within us. Lets take a look at them individually.
10 Powerful Tenets Of Personal & Professional Leadership Using The Law Of Attraction
Leadership is an innate ability in all of us. Using the principals of the Law of Attraction to strengthen our leadership and consciously use it in our personal and professional endeavors will not only attract more success to us it will allow us to be of service to others and make a valuable contribution. These 10 powerful tenets will help you stay focused on Attraction based Leadership.
Follow Your Dream
If you have a dream, follow it. No matter how wild, outrageous, and improbable it may seem. If possible travel on your journey with friends who will support you. Friendship can keep your faith alive long after your energy and hope have been worn away.
Coping As A Caregiver
Few people are prepared for the responsibilities and tasks involved in caring for loved ones who are ill, elderly, or disabled. The success of the relationship between you and your loved one depends on several factors. One of the most important is how well you take care of yourself, empowering yourself to be there for the person you are caring for. Let's look first at what causes the stress in such a relationship, and then we will explore some ways to care for yourself as you care for another.
7 Ways To Make a Great First Impression
When you have an important event to attend there are 7 great ways to make sure you perform at your very best. These tips are relevant for social events and business meetings. Discover how to communicate with confidence while making great conversation.
What Message Are You Sending Out?
A woman phoned me the other day to ask me about a product that someone else was selling. It was something she really wanted.
6 Great Ways To Improve Your Social Skills
If you are looking for a way to improve your social skills, there are many resources available that will assist you in refining your social skills and improving the way you communicate with others.
How to Better Improve Your Life Through the Power of Change
I am a physicist by education, and a practical business entrepreneur by profession ? two quite different fields. At times we have all tried to unify our understanding of different areas that we have been exposed to, and so I have attempted to do the same here on a broad common theme that seemingly touches both of these two rather diverse subjects.
Opportunity Knocks 1000 Times
You've heard people say that opportunity only knocks once. I say it knocks a thousand times, or at least it can. The problem is, we often don't listen, we don't see, or we don't want to work. The biggest problem, though, is that opportunity really isn't opportunity, if you're not ready for it.
4 Simple Steps To The Good Life
If you want to create the good life -- a life filled with more achievement, prosperity and happiness than you could now imagine -- all you really need to do is faithfully follow four simple steps. Really.
Demanding Miracles
Have you ever had an overwhelming problem or issue? Was there some circumstance in your life that seemed beyond your ability to handle it? Have you ever called out to God, Buddha, guardian angels, The Force, your higher self, Mohammed, Mother Earth, whatever name you give that spirit? To find an all-encompassing name without prejudice towards any one belief system, I'll just hereby use the word 'god' to refer to whatever or whoever it is that you pray to for assistance and guidance. Have you cried out to your god for help and guidance with some crisis in your life? Did you get an answer? Did you get help?
Clarity of Vision
Imagine trying to drive at night in your car with windows covered in Vaseline - or try walking around for a day with prescription glasses that aren't your own. You might find it very difficult to function and get where you'd like to go ? even when your ability to think is perfect. That's where clarity of vision comes in.
|
